From Side-Hustle To Full-Time
My Diary from Leaving my 9-5
The day I left work felt like one of those film endings where the starring couple (who’d been so obviously destined to be together from the first scene) get married and walk off into the sunset, happily ever after.
Everyone assumes that everything will be perfect after that, there won’t be any rows or differences of opinion.
It was the same with my last day at work, it was so lovely to have the support there from my colleagues but they were acting as if I’d ‘made it’.
They seemed to think that, because I was leaving my job, that was it, my business was a success, I was going to live happily ever after.
However, we both know that’s not the case.
The day I left work wasn’t a huge momentous leap, it was just turning the page onto a new chapter. The story continues, the plot thickens and you can be sure as hell life still continued to throw unexpected plot twists at me as I continued to grow my business.
Here’s what those few weeks and months after taking the leap looked like for me, in diary entries.
24th March, 2019
Really relaxed weekend, until Sunday evening when I got in the shower and suddenly had a massive freak out about leaving work.
What if it all fails? What if no one actually wants what I’m offering?
I feel it in my stomach. I avoid telling anyone because I dread the ‘I told you so’ face.
25th March
Find myself being chatty with everyone at work because I suddenly realise, that even though I’m massively introverted and avoid all work socials, I might actually miss those completely pointless but comforting conversations about how your weekend was or how it’s freezing in the office today (it’s always freezing in the office).
28th March
My last day.
Anxiety levels are high.
I hate goodbyes, the amateur dramatics of pretending that loosing a colleague is the end of the world and how they will ever cope, when in reality, give it a few weeks and they will be absolutely fine without you.
As last days go through (and as someone who’s walked out of a job before with no word of a goodbye) it wasn’t as anxiety inducing as I thought it would be.
I can tell you now through, it felt nothing like taking a leap at all!
29th March 2.20am
Woke up worrying about money.
Feeling very anxious with all the symptoms of anxiety keeping me awake. Need to be kind on myself to manage the anxiety.
29th March - Day time
I’ve been feeling some major comparison and self-doubt.
I’ve been sucked in by the noise, other people’s opinions and other people’s work. I muted a few Instagram accounts that are making me feel rubbish.
I chatted with a fellow business pal and got a much needed reminder to double down on my work, go back to the value I bring to my work and what makes me unique.
Feeling so much more confident after our chat and I feel like I’ve got my ducks back in a row.
Shows the power of having a support network.
30th March
Woke up happy and relieved it was the weekend and then I realised I didn’t have to go back to work on Monday and it put a huge smile on my face.
1st April
My first proper self-employed work day.
Feels weird not having to go into the office. Although I worked from home a lot I always went into the office on a Monday and it was a deeply embedded part of my weekly routine. It feels weird, but it feels great.
Commuting was one of my least favourite parts of my 9-5.
8th April
I’m wondering if I’m doing enough. Am I busy enough, I feel like I’m not busy enough.
14th April
I’ve been away on a hen weekend and it’s been good to step away from my business for a few days. I’m sure it’ll help boost my productivity and Inspiration next week.
A few friends have asked me to go out to Corfu with them but I’m worrying that I can’t take the time away from my business and right now I probably shouldn’t be spending money on holidays.
I tell myself, short term pain for long term gain.
22nd April
I thought leaving my job would put a fire under to make it work, but it hasn’t.
My friend pointed out that perhaps I should have had a break before starting on my business full time. She might have had a point!
I’ve also realised I’m partly shying away from selling because I now NEED the money. But I don’t want to come across as desperate. And so I’m not selling at all.
Very counter productive.
27th April
Went into London for a Blogtacular meet up. There was a small group of us which was so nice. By the end of the day I felt like I’d had lunch with a really supportive group of friends who were wholeheartedly behind me 100%. No judgement, just support and encouragement.
Today I feel supported, and thank god because I’ve been going through quite the confidence crisis!
2nd May
Freaked out about money a lot and made myself look at my bank balance. Not as scary as I thought.
But the voice of my inner critic shouts, what if you stop getting enquiries, what if it all dries up!?
7th May
Feeling a sneaking suspicion I’m not being present enough and I’m hiding away a little.
Of course I’m hiding, I’m outside of my comfort zone and having to sell my services definitely feels outside of my comfort zone.
Time to create a marketing plan and get brave.
10th May
Went to a meet up day for like minded creative business owners. A day purely designed to connect - with no agenda, no pressure to learn or create anything new - just chatting.
I took so much away from the day, my confidence feels boosted and my mind is buzzing with ideas.
Even as an introvert, spending time around like-minded people always boosts my inspiration, and creativity.
11th May
Had a cup of tea in bed and then flung open the windows to the sound of birdsong got up and started my day. I thought, this is the life! But then realised it’s actually Saturday so my friends who work 9-to-5 hours will be enjoying a day off.
Even so, I can’t wait to get work after all the inspiration I took on board yesterday.
16th May
I had a really inspired writing day after so long of not feeling like writing anything at all.
It felt like my mojo’s come back. Stayed in bed all day with my laptop and wrote. Can’t do that in a 9-5, can you?
17th May
Woke up feeling really anxious today and couldn’t focus on my work.
I only have myself to blame (see yesterday’s entry) - no routine, breaks or proper eating yesterday led to me feeling crap today.
So I had to take the whole morning out to go for a long relaxing walk.
It did the trick and a useful reminder that my anxiety is still very real, it’s there and it still need managing!
I suppose, that even though I’m not working 9-5 a healthy routine is still a good idea.
23 May
Recently I’ve been lacking confidence again, second-guessing all of my decisions, worrying about my one-to-one work.
But then I had a 1:1 call and the call for mycourse students, both went really well and I feel much more confident again.
It really is up one minute down the next!
The first three months and beyond
Swopping in here a whole four, yes FOUR years later to add a footnote.
It’s so interesting to read these entries back. So much self-doubt, procrastination and fear. Being a business owner is truly a rollercoaster - especially those first few months after taking the leap.
Here are the top 3 things I learned in that first year:
1 | ROUTINE IS ESSENTIAL
When you skip out of your 9-5 job to work for yourself, it’s tempting to rebel against everything you know.
Lunch breaks
Set work hours
Paying yourself once a month
All of those structures can feel like everything you’ve worked so hard to escape from… BUT routine is the only way for me to stay healthy. Physically and mentally. I now have a loose routine that doesn’t feel like my 9-5 routine but creates structure and makes space for healthy habits.
7-8am - Walk the dogs
9:30am - Breakfast & sometimes I’ll throw dinner in the slow cooker so it’s done.
10am - Mindset - journaling, meditate, talk to a friend (whatever I feel I need)
10:30-11am - Start work
1:30pm - Lunch
2/ 2:30pm - Work
5pm - Close the laptop! (No working in the evenings it the RULE - because it affects my sleep).
It was a hard-won lesson, but routine for the win.
But there is of course also space for spontaneous day off and all of the freedom-things I dreamed of.
2 | KNOW YOURSELF
Reading these entries back it’s so obvious to me now that I was letting my fear stop me from putting myself out there and raising my income.
All the planning. All of the ‘tomorrow I will show up’, all of the excuses I fully believed that were stopping me form showing up and getting selling.
Taking the leap pushes you outside of your comfort zone like nothing else.
How well you know yourself will determinehow quickly you make a success of being your own boss.
Get to know when you’re letting fear win and find mechanisms to help you get out of your comfort zone to make your dreams a reality.
YOUR SELF-CARE COMESFIRST
This lesson wasn’t properly learnt until 2021, when I hit a burnout-shaped brick wall.
It’s tempting to keep ‘pushing through’. To keep doing the things that work… but also drain your battery faster than a corporate networking event.
It’s so important to prioritise building out systems, and learning how to automate and simplify your business. That’s how you truly grow and scale, rather than treading water.
It’s so common to think ‘I just don’t have time’ or ‘after this launch’ and then the next one.
If there’s one thing you take away from this post let it be this…
Systemising and automating elements of your business needs to be a priority, so it’s not all on YOU. Don’t wait until you hit burnout like I did. 🤦♀️
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